Shameless: breaking free

This day I cast down my chains, I choose to leave this prison. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the sunlight. I can no longer live in a prison of my own making.

For the longest time ever since I finished university, I have been ashamed of my situation, ashamed to step outside and let people seem me; the unemployed graduate. Ashamed that my story would discourage young kids from continuing to higher education while the older group would laugh. I had promised myself that the next time I would live again, would be after I got job, but this prison has become too small for the woman I’ve become. I can no longer hide her from a world waiting for her to take her place.

Sure, I might not be where I want to be, not doing what I would rather be doing, but I REFUSE, REFUSE, REFUSE to dim my light no more. Today I will step outside the house with my shades on, greet everyone I meet in the street with a wide warm smile.

Sure, unemployment was never part of the plan, but I refuse to give up on life. Today is D-DAY, it is my rebirth into life. I will step outside and let the sun hit my skin.

Because today, I AM UNASHAMEDLY; DIVA UNEMPLOYED!

Insanity or Hope

Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results.

This saying from Einstein got me wondering about life as an unemployed person and secondly as an unemployed graduate. I live for job application, applying for jobs is the first thing I do when I wake up and the last thing I do before bed. Before I can even do my morning prayer, I check my emails, I apply all throughout the day and yet I’m still jobless. I mean I’ve been job hunting for over a year and a half now, surely something must have paid off by now.

Maybe I am hopeful, maybe its hope that wakes me up every morning to apply to yet another job or search for more jobs and job sites to apply to. Maybe it is hope that tells me to put aside my dreams and focus on getting a job, after all getting a job is what would make a person. Getting a job is the reason I went to varsity and getting a job was all I ever dreamt about in varsity.

So, I wonder, am I insane or am I just a hopeful. Is Einstein right or is hope worth a try. I mean what is it in my head that makes it ok for me to continue with this kind of behaviour, what is it that makes it ok for me to waste my energy, time and money on applying for jobs that aren’t there to begin with.  Why do I think its ok to put off living life in the name of “investing”? How is it even an investment to keep doing the same thing over and over again without any guarantee of proper returns?

Am I insane or am I just hopeful?

Is it hopefulness or insanity that tells me its ok to quit living and use my whole substance to beg for a job?

And now I ask my fellow unemployed graduates; are we hopeful or just insane?

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